Douchestuck -HeartPumper
by FallingIntoJohnDave
Summary: Dave cannot understand why that stupid Douchebag's flirting makes his cheeks light up like faulty christmas lights and makes his heart feel like an overworked steam train. Was this love?
1. Chapter 1

=== Be the Douchebag of the school.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are currently heading inside the school building or lunch, being on the sports team sure had its benefits such as going to lunch 15 MINUTES EARLY.

You wear a BLUE LETTERMAN JACKET underneath a BLUE SHIRT some EXPENSIVE JEANS and BLUE CONVERSES. Overall you really like the colour BLUE.

Walking along the empty school hallway, your only companion being the squeaking your shoes gave out to you, you were blinded for half a second as the window from the ceiling had let through some sunlight, it hitting the floor and making it near impossible to see. Up next on the hallway of emptiness is just a road of doors, doors galore, Door Street. One of these doors happens to catch your ever wandering blue eyes.

Re-routing your stroll to the cafeteria you head over to that particular door, stopping abruptly to peer inside. Inside that class, phone clasped between his hands –Oh you wish you could hold them- as his fingers moved rapidly across the screen looking around to check for teachers every now and then and sometimes to adjust his scarf, was none other than DAVE STRIDER peering down at his RED IPHONE.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you think you're in love.

=== Be the wanna-be Hipster

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and your pretty sure your more interested in your RED IPHONE, hiding cleverly by your desk, than the lecture that was currently taking place, you have 500 FOLLOWERS ON INSTAGRAM you know?

Every now and then you look up to scan your terrible classroom surroundings before turning your attention back to the screen. You wear a RED SCARF accompanied by a WHITE SHIRT and DARK RED JEANS.

Feeling eyes on you, you pull your red eyes away from your precious phone to glance at the door.

A certain someone was trying to get your attention, his lips clearly red 'Dave' when he opened them, and a wide grin graced them, seeming glad that it got you to look up from your phone.

You rolled your eyes looking back down to check Facebook, you could still see him out of the corner of your eye and he knew that.

You saw him blow a kiss and a wink your way before disappearing from the doorway.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are god damn curios as to why that boy made your heart race like a mouse being hunted by a cat, a blue one to be exact.


	2. Chapter 2

==== Get Lunch

You continue to be the wanna-be Hipster and head out of class, that red iphone you hold so dear to your soul still clamped in your hands. God if you lost your phone that would be the end of ever seeing Dave Strider. You'd be locked in your room, on your computer –the nearest thing to your phone-

Stepping into the stream of people, shoving and pushing to get out of the classroom and away from the learning, you made a direct line to the canteen. You were going to make, you could see the saloon like doors up ahead that shone light onto the dark floor about two centimetres ahead of them.

Inside you were rather happy that you could get there quickly but of course your expression didn't change, when did your expression ever change?

Almost there Almost there- Feeling a hand snake around your wrist and tug you out of the stream of hungry students wanting to feed before they started feeding on each other.

Once pulled out to the side of the room, you look up from your phone to see whoever just but a downer on your mood. Once looking up you felt your expression just get less emotion-less if possible, you should've known. John Egbert.

"What do you want, Egbert" your eyes returned back down to the now black-screened device in your hands.

"You. But that's not the only thing" you glance up, raising your eyebrows so they set neatly above your glasses, that was so god damn cheesy….Too bad you were a sucker for stuff like that and once again your heart rate increased. You were also blushing, you could feel that stupid redness crawling over you cheeks slowly.

"What ELSE do you want?" you spit at the other, grinding your teeth gently.

"I was wonderin' if you'd like to come to lunch with me?" he asked, that dumb accent that was clearly trying to imitate Jake's completely coating the question. You had trouble holding back a smile as your lip quivered slightly.

Hell No. "Yeah sure whatever" are you NUTS? You hate John, why are you agreeing to have lunch with him?

His smirk says it all. That he had won you over just by asking you a simple question and getting you flustered because of a god damn accent that he was copying from his BROTHER.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you can feel in your fast beating heart that the rest of the evening is going to be a long fucking time.


	3. Vending Machines and Tomatoes

==è Be John Egbert

You cannot believe your luck, you just got the hottest hipster on the block to have lunch with you!

Oh you could not contain that dumbass grin on your face. Your heart was doing triple kick flips this was totally perfect, before suddenly realising that Dave was tapping his foot in a rather frustrated rhythm trying to get your attention as he coughed into his scarf.

Your blue eyes widened for a second, before walking forward. "C'mon Strider, let's go get some food"

You see him pick up the pace to walk next to you, eyesight resting on his phone, maybe a little glance up to your grinning face every now and then.

You can tell this is going to be a great lunch.

This was not a great lunch.

You managed to get out of there with just a red hand slapped across your face, it stung like hell but hey at least it was from Dave.

Exiting the cafeteria, you slump through the hallways, hand shoved into your letterman jacket an unamused look plastered on your freckled features.

Your cheek still stung from the slap that was delivered moments ago and you really should have known that going in for a kiss was a little a fast.

Shuffling onwards in your adventure to the playgroup, you decide to pull out your own Iphone, texting a quick sorry note to the other.

**EB: hey**

**EB: dave**

**EB: sorry about all that stuff that happened**

**EB: spur of the moment or whatever bullshit it is**

Deciding that was good enough, he continued pushing the door open with one hand the other clasped around the blue and white phone case you owned.

Stepping outside you see your brother, with his tanned arm slung over another Strider's shoulder, making useless comments that the other was not interested in.

=è Be Jake English

You are now the schools true DOUCHEBAG.

Your name is JAKE ENGLISH and as stated in previous chapters you are JOHN EGBERT'S older brother.

Much more ATTRACTIVE younger brother if you do say so yourself.

You wear a SHORT GREEN SHIRT with SQUARE SUNGLASSES attached to them, you never really WEAR those GLASSES though…

You really like DIRK STRIDER, MONEY, GREEN, CLOTHES, CARS, DIRK STRIDER AND FLIRTING WITH DIRK STRIDER…did you mention you LIKED DIRK STRIDER.

YOU DISLIKE MATH, MATH, STUDYING, MATH AND TOMATOES. Those things really CREEP YOU OUT.

You currently have your arm over Dirk Strider's shoulder, throwing flirts at him from out of no-where.

"Jake!"

No. Hell no. Fuck no.

Your glance turns towards the boy running down the school steps towards your stupid younger brother, winking at Dirk who threw a very nice middle finger directly at you.

"What do you want?"

"How do I win a Strider over?"

"Fuck if I know, tryin' a been figuring that out forever, John"

"Geez thanks for the help"

"Your welcome"

John turned about to head inside, knowing that last period would start soon.

"Tomatoes" he called over his shoulder, thin line of smirk coating his voice.

"Fuck off!" you scream back at him, anger coating your accent as you returned back to your sweatered blondie.

=è John Egbert: Check your phone

You pull out your phone revealing a string of red, having to re-adjust your vision thanks to never wearing those really-needed glasses.

**TG: Egbert.**

**TG: That was not a spur of the moment that was you being dickish.**

**TG: I understand that you're attracted to me that's really just pathetic.**

**TG: You're not attracted to me in any way shape or form are you? Really just after a stupid kiss and run or whatever.**

**TG: Don't talk to me ever, Alright. What you did was humiliating.**

**TG: Goodbye.**

**EB: dave**

**EB: meet me at the soda machine near math during 6th**

**EB: 3**

You put your phone back in your pocket, not expecting much of the Strider as you move towards the vending machine.

Too bad because you would have missed the –

**TG: ...**

**TG: Alright**


End file.
